Saturday !

What a damn boring Saturday night !

Aren't weekends supposed to be fun ?? ><

Not feeling of watching movies even when I'm bored.

Just chilling around with Taylor Swift's songs..kinda relaxing though.

I'm glad that I'm feeling much better now than the previous 2 weeks.

All those emotional past......just flew away~

But last night when I'm alone watching movies, I suddenly felt the aching feeling again.

Arrgghh...cried again ! :(

Comparing to those days, I'm feeling very fine now.

Been expressing out to my friends quite a bit.

So I guess I'm okay then.

Have lunch with an old pal today.

Talk quite a lot, my mouth felt a bit tired though...hahaha

It's fun meeting them back since all of us separated after high school^^

So, here it is....

Wishing everyone a Happy Mid-Autumn Festival !!!

Do have fun with the lanterns and mooncakes =)

Waiting

for someone else 

to make you happy 

is the best way to be....... 

sad.

Not Time That Matters

What I've learnt today is...

You wouldn't know when will you forget someone that means something to you,

It doesn't depends on how much time you'd used,

It depends on how willingly are you to let it go.

Even you are able to move on, it will always remain a mark inside you.

No matter how, it will not be gone.

Until the day, there'll come a person to make that feeling disappear.

I might felt regret at times, but I hope it will gone someday. 

:) 

All of These and That

Having a nice peaceful night tonight.
No sounds of TV. Just me and my sister :)
Filling the silences with gossips, secrets, stories, problems and of course, love matters.
It's been a while since i talked with her alone. Just the two of us.
You just doesn't want the whole conversations to end.
Too much to talk about ! hehehe~

Its so much comfortable talking with someone like them.
You are able to spill everything out not worrying whether they'll understand or not.
No hiding feelings ! No secrets ! They knows !

Through the convo with my sis, I'd learnt quite much.
She looks much more mature than me. She able to give nice advice.
Indeed respected that dear ©
Of course as usual she got much more to talk about rather than I did.

Well, I was always born to be a LISTENER more than a STORYTELLER or an ADVISOR though^^

#Hey dear, here's a bit of message for you :)

I know you were having a bit of tough time currently.

But I hope you can get it over soon.

And also, it's okay to cry sometimes.

I'm here okay ? 

I © Uou ~

Tension

One more day left of my trial exams.

Such a relief :)

Really in need of a proper rest...mentally !

Having an argument with my mum again last night.

What's had gone wrong ???

I think is best not to talk these days.

Just give some time to each of us to settle down a bit.

Too much tension going on in my house.

Everyone just doesn't see eye to eye.

Arggghhhh !!!!! ><

Been crying a lot lately.

I have to stop this. Seriously.

Do Smile

It's been tough for me these few days. 

The aching feeling inside me is really killing me.

I really had no idea what to do with it.

I'd done crying it out. But it still aren't working.

All I do is just sitting there making anonymous random thoughts.

Just thinking what else more is coming its way.

My friends were right.

If I kept on hiding my feelings and won't talk about it, there'll be one day, I'll explode.

I always think I'm capable to handle it alone, for I know I just simply forgets unhappy things easily.

And, it was actually no big deal at all.

Well, that's was the old me. But not for now.

I'm someone who are not easily to talk my feelings out like that.

I felt insecure and worried at times if I do so.

I wanted to talk it out but sometimes people might not understand what I'm trying to lay out.

Plus, I'm not very good at expressing myself.

But I will do so if I get comfortable and ready to talk to.

Just no pushing, I don't work that way and I hate it.

And sometimes I choose not to talk is because there is no one listen.....

There is no one to give me a damn f*ck !!

I guess all I do is just smile to hide these dark side.

No explanation needed. Simple.

Feeling of getting drunk and escape reality for a while.

Get knockdown and everything will be okay. Done.

Feelings

Once you have feelings for someone, it

will always be there.
You may not like them anymore, but
you still care.

#©both quotes and pictures. . . . . . . .

Not Much

It's been 3 days. No post.

So here it is. Another updates :)

So I'm in the middle of examination week, is the 3rd day today.

F*cking exhausted all the time. Have to stay up late most of the nights.

On the first day, seriously I broke down.

I'd cried. Seriously pouring my heart out.

It's all because I did a damn mistake on my papers.

This is the first time I behaved that way.

Guess all the stress is getting its way = =

Plus there's still a feeling locking inside me.

No wonder I'm being all emotional that day.

When will it go away ?

So far until now, nothing much going on.

Just kept on wishing that those exams day soon be over ^^

Oh yeah, I got an injection today, had a slight pain on my arm now...aiksss ><

Till next post then~

..xoxo..

Carefree

Sunday. 16 Sept 2012.

Slept at 3.08 am. Woke up at 11.06 am.

I really felt great today.

No sign of sadness or feeling down. Not at all.

Maybe is the starting sign of moving on perhaps?

Hope it is.

I just kept myself busy all the time.

So that I won't think anything and end up shedding tears. Crying?No point at all.

Though I do cried in the middle of the night. But it was just a while.

Just kept on studying if I got nothing else to do.

STUDY,EXAMS = MY MAIN PRIORITY !!!!! PERIOD !!!!

Finally able to went for a jog. For 3 rounds ! ^^

Every time when I felt depressed or down, doing exercise is my only solution to keep me brighten up.

There is something that I like about them.

You are able to escape from problems for a little while.

It feels like you don't have any worries and feel carefree.

When I having my run alone with musics tagging along, I felt nothing.

Absolutely nothing. It seems to me like nothing had happen.

Just love the feeling of escaping from reality for a while.

Best feeling ever :)

- Let's escape all these damn crap that makes us feeling down for a little while.

And feel the feeling of being carefree.

Dear Me

Oh dear me.

Please be strong and do move on.

You'd totally changed.

You didn't look like yourself before.

You told people to look forward and never mourn to the past.

But now, have you done what you said?

Feeling sad for a while is already enough.

How much time do you need?

1 week? 1 month? 1 year?

Let me tell you what, you just wasting time overreacting.

Enough with the sad songs. Dry your tears.

Draw a smile back on your face.

Get back on your feet and move on.

Stop wasting time !!

- Sincerely, the old you :)

Silent Tears speaks,

Some wounds cannot heal by time, some regrets stay with us forever. 

~The human mind spends most of it's time waiting, 

hoping and wishing for something that may not happen.

~Spend life with the people who make you happy, not the people who you have to impress. 

Girls that seems or acts strong are the most sensitive of them all.

~The worst feeling is regretting not having done something 

when you had the chance.

~I hide all my problems behind my smile. Behind my smile is a world of pain. You think you know me, but you have no idea.

Moving On

13 September 2012. 

Can't sleep well last night. Been thinking a lot.

Hiding myself crying with emotional songs.

Feeling sad and disappointed.

Thinking back the time I'd wasted on waiting for something that might not happen.

For freaking 5 years !! Haizz..

Such naive person am I. 

But.

In the middle of everything, I'm asking to myself.

Why am I crying?

For all those tears I cried. Totally nonsense.

I'm not breaking up in a relationship though.

I didn't confess and get rejected.

I just simply got a stop trying sign. A 'STOP' sign !!!

I'd knew what is happening but why am I still thinking there was a hope?

Finally, I got an answer.

But deep inside of me, I still have regrets.

The End

No confessions had been made.

But yet the answers had been told.

Nothing can change that but to accept it.

No more waiting.

No more wasting time.

I had get what I wished.

An answer.

5 years. The end.

Today

Bored.

                                                          Confused.
                            Mixed feelings.

          
Stress.

                                                            Full of thoughts.

                  How I define today ?

Teddy Bear

Hey there little cute one :)

I've been in love with them since I was a kid. I won't forget the moments I'd spent with it.

Suddenly feeling nostalgic with dear Teddy. Hahaha ~

Last night I slept at my aunt's.

When I'm heading to bed, I saw my cousin's fluffy teddy bear.

Yes, I slept with little teddy tugged in my arms.

Suddenly all my past memories flushing back to me.

For me, they were something special.

Whenever you feeling sad, happy, angry...

They're the ones who will always be there for you.

I cry, teddy wipe my tears.

I smile. teddy smile back.

I scare, teddy give me a hug.

I'm lonely, teddy is there beside me.

I'm angry, teddy get bit and punches.

I had problems, teddy be my listener.

Hugging teddy in my arms makes me feel like a little girl again.

Reminding back to my childhood times.

When I always surrounded with fears and worries.

But..........

Teddy was there with me.

#bonuspics

Kon'nichiwa :)

Two nights of good food, yo !

Yeah, Japanese food ! ^^

Totally enjoying with it.

Nothing can compares to the power of good food. Hahaha ~

No Food, No Life !!!

Last night, I went to Nitro, so called high-class Japanese restaurant in Sandakan.

Wow, the food there...really not bad. But the prices there...really 'not bad too' :P

Especially the salmon sashimi I ordered. It melts in my mouth. Oishi~

My claimed dinner from my aunt. Nice :)

Love seeing the wasabi with a leaf design on it.

Meanwhile, tonight I went for dinner with my family on another round of Japanese food. Again.
This time was at Edo Ichi.

Forgot to take a picture of the sushi we had ate. 

We're just too hungry !

Arigato gozaimasu :)

Worried

I'm not emotional.

Honestly, I don't even know what are my feelings now.

All I know is...

I'm mentally tired.

Trying to have a break but my brain won't let me.

I really wanted a rest.

I guess the examination pressure is started to get into me.

But I'm certain there were something else too.

But what is that ?

I'm Tired.

Tell me, what am I worrying about ?

Terribly Sorry

One question.

How do you feel when someone forget your precious birthday ?

Especially your special someone did.

The one who are totally special to me.

The one who meant the world to me.

The one whom I said I cherish with all my life.

The one who brought me to this world.

The one who is important.

The one who I cannot live without.

Yes, I just forgot my mum's birthday. This very damn day !

I really f*cking upset. I felt so wrong.

It's not the first time. I did that too last year. And I done it again. In this f*cking year !

AGAIN !!!!!!

I just really really really can't forgive myself !!!!!!!

What an a**hole am I !!!! 

So I came up to her and gave her a hug.

Giving her a birthday wishes and a sorry.

She didn't deserves this. I know she's disappointed.

I just can't do anything besides saying sorry.

I cried a bit when I'm in her hug. Feeling so freaking sorry.

Not much I can do. But here's for you.
Happy Birthday, Mum.
I'm sorry. There's no need to forgive me.

You're always the queen of my heart ©

  

No Mr. Lazy

Hello, once again ! =)

Another updates from me...yipee !!!

I've been addicting to blogging currently.

I don't know why but I feel happy creating new post here. Every time.

I express not to impress, ok ?

So, now I'm gearing up for my study mood starting today.

I should have started it last night but the laziness just crept into my bones.

Please don't do it again next time ok, Mr. Lazy ? ^^

Guess all I could manage is just a small post here.

I need to get back to work. So, that's for today :)

Ciao~

p/s: I laughed a lot today. Guess what ? hahaha~~ XD

Simply Monday

Another simple day had just passed by.

Nothing much happen today.

Just me babbling to much with my friends, my sister and yeah...my mother too :)

Didn't talk much with my mum since the last two days.

Each time when I talk with her must ended up with a small argument.

Both had their own standing point. Both didn't want to back up.

But in the end, I took all the blame. There's just no point on fighting back.

It just make things worse.

The frustrating part ! I GOT NO CHANCE TO EXPLAIN !

That's what makes me heated up.

There's just something in my home where I'm not allow to be angry or getting frustrated.

Or else, I'm the one to be blame.

I just got trolled ! Entirely !

But no matter what, they're still my family anyway.
They're just someone who I can rely on.

I know why my mum been grumbling me the past few days.
I've been sleeping quite late those nights. I just simply can't fall asleep.
Might be the results on doing the same thing during the holidays.
Drowning myself with musics, watching movies, playing games.
I just can't get tired anyway !

Oh yeah one more thing, one of my friend asked me whether I'm interested on accompanying her to work while travelling in Australia next year.
Tough decision here, really. Been thinking about Singapore too.
Talked with my mum about it earlier.
Well, I'm still considering it :)


*Soey, I know you reading this...hehehe
Good luck dear :)* 
remember you made me feel bad today too :P

Heart Says,

Trying to put my feelings into words is probably the hardest thing to do.

Everything is okay in the end, and if it's not okay, then it's not the end.

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.

©©©

____________________________________________________

Silent Tears Always Speak

September

So here it is...September !

Just be good to me, okay ? 

=)

Close Enough

A paved road for me to reach out towards something that I desire.

But I'm still not ready. I doesn't have enough courage to do it.

Feelings were there but words can't easily described it.

I'm just not ready for it. I know I've waited for so long.

I just need some time. A bit more time. Not much.

There's only a few more steps.

I believe there would be a day. The day I able to speak out.

One day.