Still The Same

Alright I need to calm myself down this time.

I don't know if I feel happy or sad.

But I was glad I met you again.

Last night went yumcha with my buddies.

And of course he was there.

I told them to invite him over too.

Well is not wrong to see him again right? :)

Yea, even though what had happened before.

I'd tried to erase the feelings I had towards that guy but unfortunately I failed.

I admit I still like him.

So I just let time change me.

Honestly, I'm really happy seeing him last night.

I just pretend that I didn't had feelings to him when we talked.

Just trying not to make the conversations awkward.

Its simply "just friend only".

When its time to go, I got this feeling of not wanting to go and just stay there.

Why happy times have to be pass so fast?

Saying goodbye was quite hard when I was looking at him.

aarggghhhh, i need help !

Okay, cut the chase.

Conclusion is I still had feeling towards him.

But its impossible.

Its About Work

Sorry for this late update.

Didn't able to have a chance to go online.

And my apologies, I think I can't post my 2012 highlights.

So I just keep that in my life album then.

Just for me to know :)

I'd started working on the 7th Jan @ Mc.Com.

It was lucky for me to scored the second interview after my first one the day before.

After two weeks working there, I had so much fun there.

All  my colleagues were so funny that I can't stop laughing at their silly teases.

I really had fun working there.

But maybe not long I will be transfer to another new branch, I guess?

I will be separate with my sot-sot colleagues.

Will miss them so much :(

At the time being I'm still working along with them.

I guess the time is coming soon.

Gonna be Smart Ape family soon.

 Ape just got smart :)

Hardships

It's the second day of new year.

Nothing been much happier since new year eve.

Undergoing a very tough personal situation.

Been crying non-stop since then and I can't help it.

Having insomnia since then.

Always drifting myself apart at home.

Hiding in the room alone. Crying.

When can all these stops?

Did I done something terrible?

Why am I living with fear now?

Am I regretting on what I'd done?

Can I stop suffering?

How long should I stand it?

Can I run away and avoid these?

But on what had happen, I won't apologize.

This is what I felt for so long.

There's no way I'm taking back my words.

My truth.

Of what had happen, I know at least I got somebody to hold on to.

My mum and my sis. i'm sorry for the trouble i'd caused. please be with me.

My aunt. i'm sorry for letting you seen all these mess. thanks so much for the support and care.

My friends. thanks for being there for me. i'm sorry for giving so much trouble at the wrong timing. hope you guys had a nice new year day. i'm really sorry.

Anyway to all those that care for me, just give me some time to recover.

I know all these weren't your troubles but you guys still stay here with me.

I will not let you all worry about me.

But please in this moment, be there for me.

As long I'm not okay, at least I know where to turn to.

I promise I'll recover soon.

I don't ask much but just be here with me at the time being.

Last but not least, thank you.