The Tomorrow

The last day of school has finally arrived.

I'm gonna attend my school Pre-U convocation and prom night tomorrow.

Even though I had this heavy-hearted feeling of not leaving this school but...

I'm really looking forward on tomorrow.

I hope all of us can make great memories.

Especially the prom night.

I had this exciting feeling and wanted to see hows the night goes.

There would be a lot to talk about..hehe

Hopefully after tomorrow, I would be able to focus on my study.

Left 21 days I guess till STPM.

Wish I would have a great time tomorrow.

For this kind of days wouldn't be repeated again.

So, let's enjoy it while it last.

My Nights

Having quite a few tiring nights.

I can't sleep well. Even though my eyes were heavy but I'm still wide awake.

If it's not 2 or 3 am, I wouldn't be asleep.

So I just drown myself to sleep with my headphones on.

I really can't sleep if no musics on, or else I would be doing some random thinking thing.

Last night was the best night I guess.

Watched 'Paranormal Activity 2' with my dad and my sis (forced her to watch with me..haha).

Unable to watch it till the end because my sis was scaring the hell out of her.

But it was nice for me because finally I'm able to watch it...even though I was closing my eyes almost the half of the movie. ^^

Yeah, been crying a bit before I'm asleep. My new sleep routine. :(

Hope tonight I'll sleep well. And also the other nights too.

A lot of things to do this week.

Good luck with it :)

Lie No More

I'm sorry if I lied to you, my dear.
I'm sorry I said that I'm okay when it's obviously that I'm not.
I know I always hiding myself away.
Sometimes I just don't know how to say it out.
I don't know how to make you understand.
So I just said that I'm okay.
Well at least you know I'm not on the inside.

I'll try open up to you one day.
I know I can't hide for long.
I promise I'll move on. I promise I'll let go. I promise.
I'll try my best.

Stay a while with me, k? ©

When I cries, it's not just over one thing.

It's built up from the anger and the emotions that I've been holding in for so long.

:'(

It Ends Tonight

Alright, every questions in my head has been answered.
This time with a more clearer answer.
It's really the time to say stop.
I'd already promised myself that no matter what the answer is I'll agree with it.
Even when it's not the answer I want. The bad answer.

I really don't know why I had the guts to ask a question that could really hurt myself.
All I think was since I'm trying to give up on him, why not try to get to know the real thing ?
Just trying to know why I had to stop having feelings towards him. I just wanna know why.
Finally, things is much clearer for me now.
I should've knew it from the beginning.
I knew what would it be but why I still keep putting feelings ?
For freaking 5 years !!!

5 years is not a small period of time.
I'd wasted my time waiting for something that are impossible to happen.
And maybe won't happen at all.

I felt so silly and stupid of myself.
For being so naive and so faithful for so long time.
How long can I really stop liking him ?
I really had enough. No more waiting anymore.

Lets end this tonight. :'(

I Miss Everything

It's almost the end of my school days.

And I'd that longing heart that still wishing it won't end.

But somehow time is ticking slowly second by second.

It's almost time to say goodbye. :(

Before all these ends, I wanna say that...

I'll miss the time I'd spent at my school...

I'll miss my friends...the best one or not...I'll miss you guys...

I'll never forget these...

For I craved everything in my life memory album.

:)

Graduating Form 6 next week. must take a lot of pictures !

Attending the final prom night. lets make a lot more memories here !

Gonna start gearing up for my final paper, the STPM.

Time really do ticking fast.

In the blink of an eye, 2012 is almost closing its curtains.

Turn On Rainy Mood

Anymore sounds that can beat the sound of pianos, guitars and violins ?

Try listen it during the raining night.

100% guaranteed, you'll melt. <3

Well, I listened to Yiruma's Kiss The Rain last night before I sleep.

I listened to it with the addition of Rainy Mood effect and it literally blew up my mind.

I can't sleep at that time, so I decided to put my earphones on.

And then I suddenly thought of his songs, then voila !

Looks emotional, huh? :)

I just simply suited with the current weather here in my place.

Yes, raining...simply love this weather.

It's relaxing~

 Kiss The Rain - Yiruma

Have a listen to it. It's really nice.

A River Flows In You - Yiruma

Here's another one of my favourite.

*SPOILER: Ignore this if you dislike listening to instrumental song*

That Killer Look

Saw that? Good looking or not?

That's Tanner Patrick there !

Omg, look at those eyes.

When I first discover him on Youtube, I'd totally fell in love with him....and his songs too, of course :)

And then when I logged in to my Facebook, the picture above appeared at the top of my news feed.

I don't know how many times I had seen it. I just can't get enough !! hahaha ><

One word.

Handsome.

Can I have him? ^^

Rainy Saturday

It's been raining the whole day today. A bit chilly too.

So here I am again with some fresh posts. 

Haha.. ^^

Last night I planned to study a bit but I ended up going out with my friends.

Well, another great night with them plus games, foods, drinks and chit-chats.

Got home quite early around past midnight since it was raining and we ran out of drinks too..hehe

I was intended to say sorry to a best friend last night.

But seeing her being happy that time made me pull back my intention.

I just afraid that I might bring back those bad memories to her.

I guess is right for not mentioning these again and let it stay as a past.

Sometimes there were things that are best kept untold.

It's not because you don't want to, it's because you have to.

Just for everyone's own good.

Thien, Lillian, Setyee & me. (photo courtesy of Thien)
I personally love this photo very much :)

So well for today, I went for my doctor appointments. finally !

Luckily, everything went well at the end. With my positive scanning reports. Nothing is wrong.

Mummy, it's okay now alright ?

After that, I went out again with my friends again. This time a much crazier one than last night..hahaha^^

Had lunch at a new cafe and then headed for a looooooooong round of karaoke.

Nearly blow my throat off...2 hours of singing !

Hell yeah...!!

Till next post.

xoxo

Simple But Yet Complicated

Friends, oh, friends.

Why it looks simple but yet complicating?

We choose our own friends but why sometimes it doesn't work out well?

Our own problem or theirs?

Actually there's really not much to argue about.

We couldn't blame others for being wrong at times.

Just blame yourself for choosing them as your friend.

But no matter what they are the ones who lighten our life up.

Through good times and bad times :)

For me, they're very much important to me.

I love them very very much !!!

I used to treated this friendship thing as a simple matter.

I just simply pass a day laughing, joking, gossiping with them. For me is more than enough.

That was last time when I was in secondary school.

But now, it was a whole lot different thing to me.

They meant something and it doesn't look simple as it seems.

I see things much different now.

Plus, is not a secondary school life anymore.

Time passing. People change but memories don't.

#As people grow up, they realize it becomes less important to have more friends,

and more important to have real ones.

I Smile and I Don't

2nd post for today. It's okay right?

Too much thought that I want to write.

*don't mind you, it's my blog anyway...hahaha*

So I left two more days to go for my checkup.

Yeah, I finally called the doctor and to my dear parents, PLEASE STOP NAGGING ME!!!!!

I'd done what you guys wanted me to, so is done okay ??

I'm really had enough of them talking to me like they're shouting at me.

Or like arguing with me. Hey, did I did something really wrong here???

At first I was scared. Like seriously worried.

Then I got a call telling me not to worry and everything will be okay.

I felt a sudden relief. At least I know there is someone cares me.

:)

Talking about birthdays today.

I like birthdays. With surprises, presents and celebrations.

I like making surprises especially for my friend's birthday. And I had fun doing it.

Sounds nice but birthdays for me was a different thing.

On my birthday,....................

Mostly nothing special going on during that day.

And that's why I don't like my birthday personally.

There's a feeling of lonely and sad on that special day.

I really hate passing time on my birthday.

Somehow, I do still get wishes and a few presents. I do felt grateful too.

But still I don't like the dull feeling of it.

:(

Let's Make Plans

While I was having my bath, I sat there thinking quite a lot of things. Most of it were about life and future plans. In the midst of the thought, I felt a bit confused on what should I do next after I graduate.

Actually I'm not a plan-making lover. I didn't really stick to what I'd plan and just do it. So, everytime when people ask me what I'll do in the future, I answered, 'I don't know. We'll see.'

The reason why I don't like making plans is because I'd done it  before. But in the end, everything changed. For me, making plans is like making an expectation. And 'expectation' is something I really trying to be careful to.

But tonight, I'll decide to push all these hyprocratic thoughts of mine and start to make plans. Hope I could achieve every one of it. We'll see :)

It's Harder Than I Thought

For so long, I'd this little health problem.
I noticed about it but I didn't done anything.
I just thought that maybe it was just a temporary matter.
But I guess it was still affecting. And yeah, I do get worried a bit.

And then my parents nagged me of not going to get checkups.
Last time I said no is because I was having exams that period.
So I thought is not the best time for me to do it.
Last night, they told me go for it. Once again, I tried to avoid.

I was scared, okay?
I'd never been in this kind of situation before. It's not I don't care.
And yet my mum nagged me like I treated this stuff unseriously.
If I showed my worriness to her, 100% she will freak out again.
I don't want to see her worried look. I want her to know that I'm okay.
She can worry about me but please, not too over...
I felt much more scarier and nervous if she did that !!!

I know soon that one day I had to face all of these.
There's no way I can avoid it.
I'm able to avoid for the first time but not for the second or the rest.

I'd been in everyone's side when they're in need.

I advised them that nothing to be afraid of and just do what's right.

But why I didn't listen to what I'd said?

无聊的夜晚

没有电视看.

有 Wi-Fi, 但是电话没有电.

在唱歌但是没有人理我.

肚子痛, 自己煮面条吃.

没有人跟我聊天.

孤单一个人在听歌.

即使知道自己有时间但是都不要读书.

今晚真的真的很无聊.

p/s: thanks Google for this...hehehe :P

Stronger Than Ever

24 hours had passed.

Is there any bad things gonna happen in this moment ?

Because I'm ready here to tackle all of it.

If I say I'm ready, I'm serious about it.

There were something wrong happened last night.

I was shocked at first but I managed to stay calm that time.

I was scared. I was worried. Inside.

But I had to pretend that I'm okay and be protective to my sister. p/s: yes, she's sick.

The feeling of assurance is what she need in this moment.

She told me at first what had happening to her.

My parents haven't knew about it yet.

Once they knew it, my mum were all freaking out ! Like really really freaking out !!!

Luckily I was there to calm things down.

Just now I had a talk with her. She didn't talk a single word.

I told her of being calm when my sister need her. 

And freaking out or worrying like a mad woman doesn't help to make things right.

That's why my sis told me at the first place but not her.

But all these were just my mask.

I only able to show how tough and calm I am on the outside.

But truthfully, I'm worrying the hell out of my life !!!

I'm hiding myself crying in my room without them noticing.

And then came out like nothing had happen.

All I'm praying and hoping that my sis will recover soon.

No matter what I'll be there for her. Even if it's hard.

Strong. It's all I have to be.

It's Still There

Everything turns down to this.

I thought they were gone.

Staring at your pictures much more longer than before.

Then the feeling struck back at me.

Without realizing tears started flowing down.
I just have to admit that I still can't just give up all those feelings down.
Even if one day I really had given up, I can bet that there'll still a bit of feeling remain.
Guess it will never gone perhaps?

#np Back To December - Taylor Swift

This song will always bring me back to the moment that I'll never forget :')

# too much happening tonight. gonna rest myself a bit.
hopefully not crying myself to sleep.

We all need that somebody :)

If Everything Was Funny

Last night, I was doing some brainstorming work with my sister for her upcoming History test paper.
Eventhough it was tough at the start but both of us ended up having fun doing it.
We managed to pull it off and after the tiring brain-wrecking job, we even spare some time to have a heart-to-heart talk.

During the talks, I knew it that she had a hard time inside.
How can someone just simply forget a person?
I know you acted tough and pretend that everything's okay but I knew it wasn't that easy.
My predictions were right.
Just talk to me. I'm here to listen.

Alright unhappy thoughts aside...
Having a great time last night too laughing at almost everything.
Discovered a Facebook page that post funny comic strip.
Me and my sis laughing like there's no tomorrow !!!
Just wish everyday was that funny where we can laugh at everything =)

And then came my dad spoiling everything.....
Really f*cking frustrated staying at home now.....
@#%^^&^#$^*&*@#& !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


 

Uneasy

Having a chit-chat with my sister one night.
Honestly, I felt quite worried about her these days.
She always seems she's okay but I scared she's not.
But I know she is strong enough to handle her own feelings. She's better than me.

Yesterday afternoon. Dark skies, heavy rain.
The worst thing happen? Lightning ! Damn lightning !!!
I was at my room that time when the lightning strucked.
I still remember the bright light hitting my room windows.
Leaving me trembling at a side.
I rushed to my sister for comfort too..><

Once again, I've been thinking a lot lately.
I don't know what's on my mind but the longer I think the more I feel frustrated.
In the end, I put myself on bad mood.
I really should stop thinking too much or else I would get crazy. Rest, Little Brain, Rest !
I even getting the uneasy feeling again after that.
Arggghhh, seriously sick of this !!!!

Someone Like U

Last night, I went out having drinks with my friends.

I could say it was fun and I really had a good time with them.

After a first round of juices and hot chocolates, we headed for second round of alcohols.

Alcohols, friends, chit-chats, games, live band musics = just perfect !! =)

Well for the live band musics, we're able to make song request from them.

We did made a few requests, they sang it awesomely. Two thumbs up guys !!

But in the middle of their performances, there's a request that really struck me.

Someone requested Adele's Someone Like You :(

I really wanted to laugh at this. It's quite funny though.

Wherever I go, this song is sure following along too.

No matter how hard I try to avoid, I'll always ended up listening to this song.

# You always remind me of someone that I'm trying to let go.

Are you an accident or a coincidence? 

Should I make you my favourite song or the one I hate?#

Can't It Get Any Better ?

Gonna conclude that my day today is really quite terrible.

First, I had a nightmare...or should I say a creepy sleeping experience ??

I still remember that moment when I was asleep but awake at the same time.

I opened my eyes looking around and I spotted a shadow beside me.

Felt like it was staring me SLEEPING !!! It was right beside me !!! >w<''

I tried to scream but no voice came out. I tried to hit the wall but I can't move a muscle !!!

It lasted for a few minutes I guess then I just sprung out awake.

I'm really scared right now :(

Second, having a class performances rehearsal today and I can't sang my part !!

I really messed the whole thing up. Haizz...

But I will try my best to make it perfect.

I got myself hurt in the throat then. In need of recovering it back as soon as possible.

I can't fail this !

Hoping tomorrow will be better.

THIS IS LIFE. JUST SMILE AND ENJOY THE RIDE ^^

Being Too Nice

There's a question that had always popped out in my mind.

Is being nice a good thing or a bad thing ?

It's been couple of times when I got ill-treated for being nice to people.

I talk this out is not I'm asking for a payback on what I've done.

But does this even makes sense ?

Yeah, I know...life is just unfair in its own way.

We just can't do anything to change it.

That's just how nature works.

Sometimes, being too nice is not a good thing. People won't notice your good deeds.

But being too rude...nahh, i don't work that way ><

So, being selfish at certain times won't hurt much though.

At least you can protect your own dignity from being squashed.

Like I had today T.T

Selfish is good,

                                but not too much :)

Unbother Thoughts

No one at the living room but me. Staring at the wall.

Alright shush this, I'll do blog then :)

Been thinking a lot lately about the days after Form 6.

Time really does ticking fast enough.

I'd started to have the feeling of heaviness inside, of not wanted to leave.

I also kept on wondering whether we could still meet again next time ?

I'm finger-crossing that we will one day :)

So, one more month to my life most important examinations, STPM, arrives.

I should be preparing by now though but I guess it's not wrong delaying it. hehe~

I promise I'll strike the best for this exam.

My STPM, my future !

It's been Day 20 of letting go of someone.

Giving up is really not a simple thing to do when they meant something to you.

The worst part ? They appear every time when you're in the middle of forgetting.

And the feelings will start refreshing again. 

It's October huh ?!?

Wishing the best of everything in this upcoming month to me, families, friends and everyone too ^^

We're entering the 10th month of Two-O-One-Two !!!

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